The Pain of Parentification As a child, you were growing up too soon if you experienced: Being the peacekeeper and mediating conflict with adults around you Raising siblings Keeping the entire house clean, doing the washing, cooking, ironing, shopping “Stepping up” to take the place of an absent parent Keeping dangerous secrets for a loved...
Anxiety feels horrible. It can be mentally and physically all consuming. You may not want to show others your anxiety, so you desperately try to hide your feelings or shut them down. Brave face it – which can feel even worse. So an obvious solution would be to avoid situations that cause you to feel...
What to Expect It may have been months, it may have been years. But on average it can take up to 12 months for someone to eventually see a counsellor. It is a big deal, and even after all these years I don’t take it lightly when people get in touch with me. So...
What is an accredited counsellor? If you’ve been considering counselling you may have come across all kinds of terms and abbreviations. We don’t make it all that easy to understand, to be honest counselling can sound confusing. Between the qualifications and ‘modes’ (styles of counselling) even down to whether we call ourselves a counsellor, therapist...
How to feel better about yourself Self-esteem can be high or low – or somewhere in the middle. It sort of sounds a bit like a thermostat. With feeling warm and toasty or cold and gloomy. But what is self-esteem? Basically, it’s a fundamental aspect of your mental well-being. It shapes the way you...
The best Christmas gift Christmas is a whirlwind. All the planning, preparing, shopping, wrapping, decorating – adding financial and family pressure. There is so much to do; it just doesn’t happen by magic. You have to do it all. Focusing on materialistic traditions, finding the best Christmas gifts, sorting the food, and organising the...
And why positive thinking is so powerful Thoughts are like a domino effect, where one can topple the next. It sets the stage for a cascade of emotions and actions. It’s fascinating. How a single thought, whether negative or positive, can initiate a chain reaction. Simultaneously influencing your mindset and emotions in profound ways, which...
Three main effects Did you grow up in a dysfunctional family? If you never really talk about growing up. It can feel like a sticky subject. You describe your family as difficult, tricky, or complicated. You may have likely lived with caregivers or parents who experienced generational trauma and may have exhibited chemical dependence, mental...
Thinking about Therapy? In 2021/22 1.81million referrals were made to the NHS talking therapy service. This means more people are open to counselling, but that also services cannot keep up with demand. An alternative is private therapy which can be a transformative journey, yet many people grapple with the question, “Do I need therapy?” The...
What is trauma exactly? Trauma often conjures up the image of a terrible accident or incident, or a ‘traumatic experience’. Understanding trauma is paramount for our mental and emotional well-being. It has a profound impact on the brain and body, and produces telltale symptoms. It can be considered as a single event, chronic, and...