You Might Not Recognise If you’ve searched for signs of childhood trauma in adults, you might expect to read about flashbacks, nightmares or obvious distress. However, childhood trauma in adults can show up in much quieter ways. You might notice it in your friendships, your relationships, your reactions to kindness, or the way you constantly...
The Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect If you’ve ever asked yourself why do I feel so ashamed of myself, you’re certainly not alone. In fact, it’s one of the questions I hear most often, even if people don’t use those exact words. Instead, they might say they never feel good enough, they constantly worry about...
Understanding the Loss of Self Have you ever asked yourself, “Why do I feel like I don’t know who I am?”. You may be very capable, successful, and responsible on the outside. Yet inside, you can feel disconnected from your own needs, emotions, and sense of identity. Like you have a ‘blind spot’ when...
The Loss No One Talks About If you have never met your father, there is a good chance you have spent years trying to convince yourself it does not really affect you. You may have told yourself “I never knew him, so how can I miss him?”“It’s just normal to me.”“I don’t think it bothers...
Same House, Different Childhoods If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, its very likely you also experienced sibling trauma. You may look at your siblings as an adult and wonder How did we grow up in the same house and become so disconnected? Why is there so little empathy between us? Why does...
Enmeshment in relationships is when your boundaries and someone else’s boundaries become blurred. On the surface, it can look like love, loyalty, or closeness. However, underneath, you often feel guilt, pressure, and a quiet loss of who you are. In healthy relationships, you can be close to someone and still be yourself. In enmeshed relationships,...
Emotional Immaturity Do you ever feel like a child in an adult’s body? Like a younger version of you is sometimes in charge or ‘in the drivers seat’. If so, this may be a sign of emotional immaturity. Emotional immaturity occurs when emotional growth is delayed, leaving parts of you stuck in childhood. You may...
The Ghost of Christmas Past What’s always coming at the same time every year? Christmas! And if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, navigating the Christmas season can feel complicated. The build-up creates expectations of a warm, joyful, and loving time with family. An idealized version of the holiday that seems to be a...
The Pain of Parentification As a child, you were growing up too soon if you experienced: Being the peacekeeper and mediating conflict with adults around you Raising siblings Keeping the entire house clean, doing the washing, cooking, ironing, shopping “Stepping up” to take the place of an absent parent Keeping dangerous secrets for a loved...
Three main effects Did you grow up in a dysfunctional family? If you never really talk about growing up. It can feel like a sticky subject. You describe your family as difficult, tricky, or complicated. You may have likely lived with caregivers or parents who experienced generational trauma and may have exhibited chemical dependence, mental...